It's so many miles and so long since I've met you, don't even know what I'll find when I get to you...

Lately I feel like I've just been stuck. There's some enormous weight I can feel in my chest and on my back and I have no idea what it is. It seems like there's a void too, and I can't fill it with anything, not even music and that makes me so unbearably unhappy and depressed. I wish I knew what was happening, there's something wrong and I can't find the problem.

I feel like I'm drifting away from music and it's breaking my heart. I love music. More than anything else in the world. If there was anything in this world that I ever truly knew, it would be music. Nothing effects me more emotionally, psychologically and physically, nothing. And yet, all the songs I used to know so well and love so much, don't seem to be enough for me. How can this be? I don't understand. Everything I want, everything I am, is invested in music and now it's like I've turned my back on music and I don't know why.

Music; the sounds and the lyrics that used to make me so happy, have lost their affect. I'm so lost, I'm drowning, in a world that I used to know so well, in a world that was my own, that was created by me, myself and I. There must be something wrong.

Nothing makes me happy anymore. I feel like I'm just slipping away. I'm stuck in this emptiness and it's consuming me and no matter how hard I fight, it just won't let go.

The trees are bare and everywhere the streets are full of strangers...

I've been thinking so much lately it's sort of ridiculous. I haven't really figured anything out, nor could I really tell you what I've been thinking about.

I'm starting to write a song. I wish I had a guitar. Not having one is going to make things pretty difficult but I shall persevere, ha. So far I have a 4 chord progression and I'm sure one of the million and a half lyrical babblings I've written will go along with it.

I like him so much. He's such an amazing guy, I can't get him out of my head.

Tried out for the musical today. Turns out I can sing? Yep.